Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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