Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
