My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
