the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
