giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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