Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How's work?
Spinning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
