UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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