Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
