2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
