I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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