Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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