why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
