Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
