Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
