Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
