Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
