You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
