she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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