$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
