Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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