rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
