And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
