Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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