i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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