First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
