I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize