Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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