At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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