I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
