im holly from the hills drunk
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
