Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
