ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
