I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
