i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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