Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
