another moral hangover. fuck.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
