i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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