Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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