YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
