i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
