in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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