He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
