He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
