the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
