I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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