you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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