Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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