i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize