i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
