Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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