well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
