Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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