I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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