my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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