Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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