so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
