walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
now i know why i became what i already was.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
