Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
