It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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