Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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