her vagine was all disorganized.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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