Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
