I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
