Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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