Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
