i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize