sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
