I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
