the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
