i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize