): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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