The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
