i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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