Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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