AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
